Vacation in 3 days!

Ethan is talking about his birthday on the big ship non-stop. If we ask him what he is going to do for his birthday, he says, have cake and eat it! on the big ship! With Unca Donny, and Aunt Susan (it is actually Aunt Suzie. but for some reason he combines my cousin Susan with Aunt Suzie!) Grammy and Pop Pop and not Bear, cause doggies aren't allowed. and Mommy, and Daddy and Aunt Nise (Denise) and Corny (Courtney)  or some variation of that. He never forgets Uncle Donny, who is my uncle and his Godfather. So sweet.

Todd and I love cruising, but it will be a very different experience with a toddler. Especially with our neverstitstillhavetomoveandseeandtoucheverything toddler. We are even considering this:

Yup, that is a backpack leash. But better to get stared at than to be chasing my kid  30mph through the pool deck, right?
Ooh, I forgot to share. (I promise, this is relevant!) I have a new love... purchased with the last of my gift cards to buybuy,baby... we are now the proud owners of this amazingly light and easy stroller, that Ethan LOVES to sit and even lie down in!

Look at that sunshade! Look at the small size, but HUGE seat area! and the fold, oh how I love the fold! Check this out:
video of amazing fold!



This will also help keep E contained on the ship, or in Bermuda!

And finally, the next portion of this post is tips for cruising, compiled for my Mom and Aunt! :) I offer no guarantees, I merely collected and collated the information!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Basic Cruise info!
Packing 101

there is only one US - style outlet in most of the cabins, bring a power strip

a lighted alarm clock is a good \ A night light helps to find the way to the bathroom.

- take suction cup hooks--they will stick on the walls and the mirrors, I've used them for hanging wet suits, makeup/toiletry bags, inexpensive necklaces, and curling irons / blowdryers.

- Buy your water shoes at home. If you are doing water based excursions, you will need them.

- Pack shirts, pants, anything susceptible to wrinkles in dry cleaner bags. Or send a bag to the ship's laundry the first day. Prices are very reasonable

- Bring a sweater for nights in the dining room and theater. It gets very chilly.

- Got a $1 over-the-door shoe rack for the bathroom door. Great for putting all kinds of stuff in.

- Post-it notes. Great for leaving note to steward, others traveling with you, etc.

- Backpack for ports

- Notebook journal - you'll otherwise forget what you did day to day if you're like me!

- OFF bug spray - still itching from some beach days

- bubble wrap to wrap breakable goodies

- PLENTY of dollar bills in SMALL denominations. Tough to bargain down to a great deal - then hand them a large bill.

- Bring wire or other light hangers. NCL will provide some hangers -- and your steward can bring more, upon request, but you still might not find that enough.

- Some people bring highlighters for marking up the Freestyle Dailies.

- Pack an expandable, but lightweight, bag for carting stuff home at the end of the trip. You'll need it, no matter how much you plan to go through while on your cruise.

- Rooms have hair dryers -- the kind you'd find in most hotel rooms. If you have a hairstyle that demands precise blowout, or you have thick hair, you might want to bring your own.

- There are two types of evenings onboard: casual, and formal. Suggested guidelines for these nights are:

Casual: Sport shirts and slacks for men, sundresses or pants for women
Formal: Suits and ties or tuxedos for men, cocktail dresses for women


What to do when boarding!

When you arrive at the port, you will be directed to a porter, who will take your luggage. Be sure to have not the only the provided tags, but your own tags with your name, number and address. It is customary to tip the porters. You will then be directed to park, and then take a shuttle to the terminal.

At the terminal, an agent will check your cruise documents, and issue your sea pass. Your picture will be taken both for the sea pass card and for a souvenir you can purchase later. Hopefully after a very short wait, you will board!


- look at the art work, where there are ships, or fishes on the carpet, the head will be facing the front of the ship, it helps to give you a sense of direction.


Remember, you will be unable to go to your room immediately following boarding. However, the windjammer will be open at 12 for lunch

- go to the dining room and make sure you're ok with your seating assignment

- You should send any pressing you want done out for the formal on the second night (if that's when it is) on the first day

- Ask the steward to clear the fridge, that way you are not tempted to buy those overpriced items on a whim


You can get a deck of free playing cards at the Purser's desk.

Purser will also punch a hole in your room key / charge card to attach it to your lanyard or keyring

You want to be on the portside of the ship during sailaway so you can get a great view of Manhattan. Get your camera ready and be sure to take pictures of the Verrazano Bridge as you go under it

The Compass (daily memo of days activities, left in your cabin) on Day #1 will have the time and location (Studio B) for the Ice Show ticket distribution.

Know that when you board the ship, and you encounter a waiter with a tray of "Welcome Aboard" drinks...they are NOT "free
Food stuffs!

Included Food: All food in main dining room, all food in the windjammer café, all promenade café foods. Iced tea, coffee, tea and water are also included.
Foods with the extra fee: specialty restaurants (portofinos, Johnny Rockets) Soda (even seltzer) alcohol, bottled water, specialty coffees are not included. Tips are always included when you are charged for a specialty drink.

You can order fresh berries - raspberries, blueberries, strawberries -- with whipped cream every night for desert.

They also serve NY Strip Steak any night or every night. Another big hit is getting shrimp cocktail every night if you ask for it in advance.

There is a charge of $3.95 if you use room service between the hours of 12 midnight and 5AM. All other times are free, but tip your delivery person in cash!


The Jade Grill ( port side of Windjammer café) offers Asian entrees such as congee and miso soups, various curries and Chinese dishes and sushi that change daily.

Seating in the Island Grill area (of the windjammer) is more available than in the Windjammer.

The table servers come around to offer beverages (both free and extra cost)

Yet another food venue is the Café Promenade in the Royal Promenade on deck 5.

- Be sure and get the honey stung chicken for lunch off the buffet (it's only available embarkation day}

- The omelet station in the Windjammer will also make other kinds of eggs

- Don't miss the salad bar in the MDR at lunch time. It is awesome!

- If you eat dinner in the main dining room, do not be shy about ordering several appetizers or main dishes. Just put in the entire order when the waiter/waitress asks for your initial order. It is not easy for them to go back for more after each course is served.

- The waiters will bring you anything you want (even off menu) I got a bowl of fresh berries for dessert one night as I didn’t fancy the desserts on menu - also they will bring extra lobster on that night - just ask.

- If you like a lot of water or other beverage with your dinner, ask the assistant waiter to have several glasses at your plate every night.

- There will be a dinner menu posted outside the upper level entrances of the MDR

Lunch and breakfast is served in the lower levels of the Main Dining Room (MDR)

- Afternoon Snacks" in the Windjammer from 3-5p, had the BEST hot scones each day, they also had hot bread pudding, and all sorts of other goodies! All free, and never crowded!

- Grab a cookie or ham and cheese croissant before you crash at the Cafe.

- chili chorizo dip from room service is excellent Ask for extra chips though, weren't enough chips for the big bowl of dip they brought us

-if you order room service for breakfast, order whatever you want (i.e. it doesn't have to be just what is on the printed menu. Don't forget to tip the delivery man!

- When you're in any bar or lounge, you can ask for trail mix and you'll get a DELICIOUS jar of nuts, seeds, raisins and yogurt-covered things. Free

- If you have a soda card, go to one of the smaller bars and nicely ask for canned soda. If you get it, the next time you come, bring a $10 and tip the bartender. You now know where to get better soda.

- You can order the drink of the day without the souviner glass, and it brings the price down

You may order breakfast room service the night before by filling out a card and placing it on the outside door knob of your stateroom and you may select the time you wish it to be delivered. They will call you a few minutes before delivering.

This makes an excellent wake up call for port days if you have an excursion booked! Make sure you order the LARGE carafes of tea or coffee as the small ones are more like single servings

Juice is free during breakfast only so if you like juice you can order or bring back some to use in your cabin during the day.

they might still have soft serve Deck 11, chocolate/vanilla and strawberry ice milk

If you like coffee - take a coffee(travel) mug with you
If you drink water - bring a water bottle - the water in the buffets etc is good and you can carry the water around with you.

- The night before you head ashore, write-in "ice" as an order on your breakfast room service card, if you're ordering the meal for your room.. And it's handy to have ice for water bottles at the ready

There is freshly squeezed orange juice for about $3.00. The regular juice is free. Make sure you get the right one!!!!

Things to know!
- Make the VERY FIRST pix on your digital camera a paper with your name, cabin number, and phone number written out neatly on a piece of paper. If you lose it (and an honest person finds it), he will be able to return it to you

- Wear a different color shirt each day that you are in a port so it will be easy to figure out which photos belong to which port when you get home.

- Start each day with a picture of the elevator floor....they mark the day on the floor...great way to keep all of those pictures organized

Keep a pile of small bills for tips for room service close by as those guys fly in and out and will not wait for you to find money to tip them.

- Notify your credit card company or bank if using a debit card that you are going to be using your card out of the country. It could save you some headaches.

- Towels, You really do have to return them. You will be charged $20 for every one you don’t return

- The helipad is a great spot to go out onto. It is beautiful at night and great for star gazing
To access the heli-pad: Deck 4 encircles 2/3 of Explorer's exterior, but most passengers never bothered climbing the short flight of stairs
Those stairs pop you up onto Deck 5, and if you amble forward another couple hundred feet you'll reach a short flight of steps up to the helipad and all the way to the very front of the ship (pic 2). No, Celine Dion will not serenade you while you're there.

The only way to the outside from deck 5 (Royal Promenade) is all the way forward through the lounge. Otherwise you have to go out on deck 4, walk forward, up a flight of stairs, walk forward on the bow, and up another short set of stairs to the helipad.

The peek-a -boo bridge is forward on deck 11.

My thoughts in my Infertility

I posted a while back about some unfair aspects of IF. See that post here. But a friend going through a really lousy time reminded me that I wrote the following, in response to a message board post, asking for commentary for National Infertility Awareness Week. I had forgotten these words and they are worth remembering. and T, I know you don't want 'I'm sorry's"  but know you are not far from all our thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My full thoughts on going through IF......

 I wish someone had told me that IF could change  you, and it can be a change for the better. We all know it make us sad, frustrated, angry and bitter. I am still sometimes all of those things, but impossible to see, until many months after my son was born, is there there was some good, too. Once I got past amazement that he was ours, that IVF did work (the second time) that I didn't miscarry or any of the other million things that terrified me the entire 39weeks and 1 day I was pregnant, I was able to get a glimpse of another reality. IF made me a better person.
Imagine that? In a few ways, too.

I never thought I was that determined, until I tried to get pregnant, with a doctor, for 27 months.

I never thought I was that bold, until I had to demand good care.

I never knew I had such tenacity, until our 9th IUI

I never thought I was that sensitive, until I sobbed and sobbed when I found out I had blocked tubes on top of diabetes, PCOS, AMA and hypothyroid.

I never thought I was brave, until I had to give myself upwards of 100 shots, in spite of a fear of needles.

I never thought I was strong, until the day I realized IVF#1 did not work, and we had to do it again.

I never thought I was compassionate, until I started to care for a message board full of women like they were my best friends. 

I have been changed for the better and I like who I am,  very much. I am a strong, bold and compassionate person, and I am not sure I would have become this person, this Mother to Ethan, if I hadn't followed this path. If I had one wish, of course, i would make it that I didn't have to do it, but since we know that isn't how it works,  I appreciate what it taught me about myself.  If I had one wish now, I would wish none of you had to go through this, I would wish no one ever had to 'learn' from IF, because as lessons go, it sucks. It isn't fair.But for me, since going through it was a necessary evil, I learned things I am not sure I would ever have known.

 I pray that everyone will come out on the other side, with the family they dream of, in whatever way it takes. You are always in my thoughts. 

The Importance of Rear Facing!

If you aren't the mom of an infant or a toddler, I am sure you are thinking 'rear facing what?'
But most moms know that it used to be recommended by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) to keep your child rear facing in his carseat until the age of 1, or until he reaches 20 lbs. But the rules are changing and the recommendation is now as long as possible! I am known in my circle of friends as the car seat nazi. I am really really verbal in my opinion about car seat safety. I hear some crazy reasons WHY moms want to turn their babies around at age 1.
1. He looks uncomfortable.
Hmmm. In Europe, kids commonly rear face at age 4! He or she is not uncomfortable, kids can fold their bodies into pretzels, for goodness sake! So she has to cross her legs, this is SO much more appealing than your child being permanently wheelchair bound, after breaking their spine in a car accident. Rear Facing is best!
2. She is happier seeing out.
Is she has never been facing front, she doesn't know it is an option!  My son likes to look out the side window. He is perfectly fine.
3. He cries in the car.
There is little reason to believe that he will stop crying facing front! Perhaps he just doesn't like the car?
and so on and more!

an e-friend wrote a great blog post about it!
Find it here

Consignment sales

I think basically, I am cheap. I don't like it when my money leaves me. Especially when we are trying to make ends meet with just my husband's salary while I am staying home with Ethan.  I used to turn my nose up at thrift and consignment stores, but once a week, E and I will get to all the area thrift stores (we go to 8 on a regular basis!)

When E was just a few weeks old, I discovered consignment sales, or mom2mom sales! OMG! It was like heaven for a cheapskate! entire church gyms filled with gently used baby stuff, cribs, clothes, toys, and more! I am now the queen of the consignment sale and almost NEVER buy Ethan anything retail! My mom and Mother in law are getting in to it to!

I also started consigning at this sale last year and I made a fair amount of money (over $200) which basically paid for Ethan's wardrobe that season!

The system is good, you price and tag your own items, and then they go into this HUGE room by catagories, or sizes. Sounds simple, right? Well, the process takes forever! You make you tags, complete with scannable barcodes, on the website. You hang all your items, enter this info, print the tags, fasten the tags, etc. Eventually you have to transport everything to the sale (TUESDAY!) I have been hanging and pricing since about 10pm. It is now 5 am. I am tired!

I think my items are priced well... hard to tell, but we (my mom, my mother in law, my sister, ethan and I)went to a Just Between Friends event yesterday and I think I priced as well as, if not better than others I saw. I still have 2 big bins of clothes to price, then I will go through E's shoes, toys and books. I sold a lot of the big baby stuff last time. I am considering next time selling Ethan's highchair and moving him permanently to the table with a booster, but not this time.

I am volunteering at this sale, for quite a few things, so I will get to shop well before the general public! (whoo hoo!) I am working Tuesday when the consigners drop off. I will be inspecting items being consigned, to be sure they are in good condition, and then on Friday evening, I will be dropping off dinner for other volunteers. I will also be shopping, of course!

But for now, I need to go to bed, I might get 3 hours of sleep before Ethan wakes up!

Happy Easter/Passover/Spring!

Good Friday Mass with a toddler

We got there and E was so excited... there were ducks on the church lawn! We walked inside and found a pew and Ethan started to cry.
E:  more ducks, Mommy, please" he whined. "Please, mommy. ducks please. ducks, Outside!!
Me: Not now, E, later. After church.
A few minutes passed, thankfully the choir was singing. But then they stopped.
E:  more singing, mommy. More singing. ABC song?  Dayenu? (dayenu is passover, wrong religion, kid!)
Me: we will sing again in a minute. Look, there is Jesus on the cross!
E:  Jesus! Look, Jesus on the cross!  (yelling). Jesus!
Me:  (sigh)
Meanwhile, mass is starting and we are standing.
E:  milk bottle, mommy. please
me: here is your sippy cup
E: (crying) no, milk bottle. BOTTLE!
me: Sorry, baby, mommy only brought your cup. Bottle later. Here, do you want an apple stick?
E: apple sick!! apple sick!
Time passes, oh so slowly. 
E: sing a sing song.
Me: (Whispering in his ear) sing, sing a song, sing out loud, sing out strong, etc
E: more.
repeat. 
Time passes, slower and slower
E: AMEN! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmen. Amen.
(congregation: Amen)
E: Jesus on the cross!
(note... this sounds very innocent, but he was saying Jesus on the cross in the tone one might say something like, I don't know.... Christ on a cracker!) 
E: Jesus!
Me: <----wondering if she can do this!
Time passes
E; More apple sicks. apple sicks. apple sauce? apple sauce (whining now)
Me: Here is more apple, we can have apple sauce for dinner.
Priest starts to head down aisle with crucifix. Congregation lines up to touch the wood of the cross and perhaps kiss the feet of the crucifix. 
I wait until the end and then take E by the hand and we go up. We happen to get Monsignor's line and he smiles when he sees E
E: Hi.
Msgr: Hi. Do you want to kiss Jesus's feet?
E: Jesus on the cross! feet. No feet (shaking his head, looking at Msgr like he has lost it)
Msgr (stifling a laugh) ok. (blessed E)
E: (walking back to our seat) Jesus feet!
Me: Slowly dying. 
Time passed. Communion. 
Me: Come on, let's go see Msgr.
E: ok, monster (I think he was trying to say monsignor, but it really sounded like monster)
We go up, I am holding E, I open my mouth for communion, expecting a host to be placed in my mouth by the priest. Instead, I get sticky apple fingers. Moving his hand, I get the host and put E down so I can make the sign of the cross. 
E: (Pointing to cross) Jesus! Ahhhhmen. AHMEN!!
Me: Hush, baby, quiet voice.
E: AMENAMENAMENAMEN
Me: Sigh.
(all the old ladies laugh and smile at him)
E: Amen!
Me: (I am beginning to think E isn't just Catholic and Jewish, he might have a bit of Southern Baptist or Born Again Christian in him.  I vow to myself, if he says Alleluia, I am outta there.)
E: Jesus feet, No.
Priest: Mass has ended, go in peace. 
Me: Alleluia!!!!

My kid is amazing.

I know, we all think that. That is ok... but my husband and I sometimes just spend our days listening and watching. We expected a smart kid, cause neither of us is lacking in brains (I am lacking in the common sense area, but that is a story for another day!) but wow, he is sharp!

yesterday he was sick... so he got so lie around on mommy all day. Today, he seemed fine, so business as usual. But I wasn't feeling particularly fantabulous today, so I was trying to rest. Ethan climbed up on my lap and handed me the remote.
"hakuna matata" he said, matter of factly
"No, E, it isn't time for the Lion King. Let's get a book"  I reasoned.
"hakuna matata, Mommy. remote. TV. more" he insisted.
"Ethan, we already watched Elmo today, no more TV"

So dejectedly he climbed down, whimpering (probably calling me some names under his breath, too!) and went about his busimess. After a bit, he comes back, rubbing his eyes, and with his lip stuck out, and laid his head on my lap. I stroked his hair and wondered if his belly was bothering him again. Gathering him up, I settled him under the blanket with me, and my little manipulator turned to me and with his head resting against my chest, looked up through his eyelashed and said with purpose,
"hakuna matata"

Well, what would you have done??

Later, I was rocking him in his room,. after an unsuccessful attempt to get him in for a nap... The phone rang, and T answered it in his office. Taking his thumb out of his mouth for a second, he said,
"Phone. Bubbie, Zaydie, Grammy. Phone."  and then promptly put his thumb back in. Apparenty only grandparents call us.
We could hear Daddy on the phone, and his one sided conversation went like this:
T: Hello?
T: Oh, he is fine today. He ------------
I don't know what he said after that, because I was listening to Ethan  say this:
"Bubbie, Fine today. Fine. Fine. No night-night. Light. Light. Fine Mommy"

Oh, and it was Bubbie and she did ask if he was ok! :)

I really have to upload some videos from the Flip, so that I can take more... he is so funny with his new dance! apparently, he gets his rhythm from his dad!

We had dinner at Pumpernicks and Ethan, as per usual was all about the pickles! We got him a burger, which he was eating fine, as long as he also had pickles!

(please excuse the lousy iphone picture... hard to take a picture with a moving target!)

He scarfed down my broccoli, too. Then we let him have some of his fries (why do kids meals always come with fries?) Suddenly pickles are good... but fries are better!

Shame we didn't get a picture of the chocolate pudding!

It shouldn't be like that...

So although I haven't mentioned it, I am infertile. It isn't a bad word to say, not nearly as bad a word as it is to be... Yes, I do have a child. He was an IVF baby, and we had to overcome not one, not two, not three but 4 diagnosis to get on the path that brought us to our perfect little one.  I have PCOS, I am diabetic, I have thyroid disease, and I am old. (I was almost 38 when E was conceived) Oh and my tubes are inexplicably blocked. So we know we are incredibly  blessed to have him, and someday i will write out his story... but not tonight!
Infertility is a weird thing. On one hand, we are lucky, we aren't dying, we aren't sick and there are treatments. But on the other hand, what do most people do after they get married? have a baby! and then another and so on.. Or they get to choose not to... Those 1 out of every 5 couples? we dont get to choose. We need to see doctors to get pregnant, stay pregnant and so on...
SO on to my point... Surprise pregnancy for other IF people. I should ALWAYS be happy for them! They have fought the long road I have also fought, and have been fortunate, as I have been, to come out on the other side.  But everyday I am somehow reminded that the only way I can fulfill my dream of another child is to go through another IVF... and when I see someone get a surprise pregnancy... it hurts. It hits somewhere so deep inside that I can't even access it, and I feel cheated. I do feel happy for them, but I feel so sad ans defeated and angry and resentful and guilty for me. And I hate it. IF doesn't define me, but it has changed me. I dont know if I have been changed for the better, but I have been changed for good. (yeah, I totally stole that line from a musical!) I want to be happy for everyone who gets pregnant, without feeling that painful fist to the gut. the room starts to close around me and I start to ache inside, and it gets sharper and sharper until it feels like I might break in half. I hate it and I don't want to feel it.
It shouldn't be like that.

by the way, this cartoon is cute, but totally wrong... 1st the doctor works out his  golf schedule with putting his patients on birth control, and then he aspirates the follicles, THEN is the transfer of the embryo, and a prayer for a little miracle!!